Perrin's Oddments

Starwalker Perrin Rynning, reporting for duty

2009-12-27T13:59:00.001-08:00

It's really ironic, in its way. Reality t.v. never really "grabbed" me, for a variety of reasons. One is that I'm perfectly capable of embarrassing myself on my own, and I've never felt the need to bring all the world in on the fun. Another is that none of the concepts around which reality t.v. is built have caught my attention.

That all changed when I got word about a show called "Starwalker"

http://www.starwalkershow.com/

The chance to become an astronaut rallied me. I've wanted to be an astronaut all my life, but the usual routes (military service, college) have not been available. But now, a group of visionaries have decided to use reality t.v. to put space exploration in the reach of everyone on earth. Don't get me wrong: I would dearly love to have a spare $200,000 USD to spend on a Virgin Galactic trip, but that's not within reach right now.

But a shot on a reality t.v. show? Okay, I can handle that.

The show has revealed that the first two 'elimination challenges' are, in order, a half-marathon (a wee bit more than 13 miles) and a "boating challenge" (which has not been clarified yet). I've walked 7.5 miles over the last week, trying to set up routes for building up my endurance, and working on my breathing. Of course, the most important things in the show is teamwork and problem-solving, so I've also got to keep my mental game sharp.

Frankly, I'm "in it to win it", but "winning" in this case is not limited to just being the last Starwalker standing. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to be the winner, but I'm also interested in helping the show have a second season, and a third, and hopefully a spinoff set on the Moon. (Though they'll probably have to change the name. Think about it, but not too hard...)

They show's bigwigs still want more applicants, though apparently there's a second "wave" or something that won't open until March or so. But they've got a Facebook page as well as their own web-domain, so anyone can follow along if they so desire. If you're interested in space exploration in any way, you could do a lot worse than support this show.

And now for something completely different

2009-06-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Per the advice from Darren Rouse's "31 Days To A Better Blog" challenge,

http://www.problogger.net/

... here are a few "elevator pitch" drafts for "Perrin's Oddments":

"Life as a tabletop player character"

"I'm not a gamer, I'm a player character!"

"Gaming inspiration for real life"

"What would your character do?"

"Okay, your game console has just died. What will you do now?"

"Tabletop RPGs: Still relevant, and let me tell you why"

... more to come as inspiration strikes...

Expanded character idea auditions

2009-06-09T14:33:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I worked with the Oddment Hunter. I won't say that I've gotten bored with the concept, but Jack seems to be living in something of a vacuum. So, let's see what happens if I give him a motley and additional supporting castmembers:

Motley:

Fairest (Dragonkin) Mostly because exploring Draconic arrogance in a physically attractive mortal form might be interesting, especially if he or she "deigns" to become a genuine friend to Jack and the rest of the Motley
Darkling (Mirrorskin) Mostly because every team needs a master of disguise, but it might also be fun to explore how such a person might form an inner core identity as a way to stabilize all the roles he or she assumes and discards
Wizened (Brewer) Chemistry is the great equalizer, but a skilled brewmaster can be even more valuable.
Elemental (Manikin): Mechanical people are just cool.
Beast (Swimmerskin, manta ray): The story's set in Berkeley, close to the ocean. What it's like for an ocean life-form to live in a very cold and somewhat polluted body of water is another question entirely.

Freehold:

Fairest (Flowering): Possible love interest for Jack, based on shared interest in Goblin Fruit. Conflict over her membership in the Spring Court; Jack doesn't like to be told how to act and think.
Ogre (Gristlegrinder): Rival for "Oddment Hunter" title or post or whatever; specializes in tokens that must be harvested from still-living creatures, generally represents the path of monstrosity that tempts Jack far more often than he would admit. Winter Court. Same Keeper as Jack. Escaped earlier but took much longer to acquire a place in the Freehold and mortal society.
Elemental (Stormlord): member of the Bishophric of Ravens, regularly offers Jack help and membership in that Order.
Darkling (Tunnelgrub): member of the Margravate of the Brim. Thinks Jack would fit right in with the Margravate. Offers Jack tidbits and membership. Jack must usually bribe him with an Oddment to get him to back off.

Mortals:

Coffeeshop operator - mentioned in a previous post.
Beauty school manager - Where Jack gets some of his Glamour recharge.
Hunter team - They know something about him, and it makes for more interesting storytelling if he gets to know them
Mother - Does she know that "Richard" is not her son?
Father - Does he care that "Richard" is toeing the line a lot more than he used to?
Cousins - Rich has hinted to Jack that at least one of the cousins is another Fetch.
Other relatives - Aunts and uncles, and batches of nieces/nephews and other relations.

Others:

"Rich" (fetch) - Rich has to represent something that Jack might have been if the Gentry had never taken an interest in him... though there should still be some distinctions. Rich has (at the beginning, anyway) embraced the degenerate lifestyle that Jack decided to refuse, but there's enough of a soul in there for Rich to start feeling remorse about how casually he dismisses other people's suffering.

Titikakte (Keeper) - Classic Ogre. Unlikely to encounter Jack except near "natural wild" areas, though he can force himself through the Hedge in parks that are sufficiently large and unkept to suit his tastes.

Anyone else see a part in the story or a Kith/Seeming they'd like me to write about? Leave a comment!

Oddment Hunter character sheet

2009-05-20T22:14:00.000-07:00

Step One: Concept: Oddment Hunter
Details: Originally a wealthy playboy, Richard James Bridgeston-Wethy was originally kidnapped by a Fairest Keeper named Aiella, and she was responsible for making his Fetch. However, before Richard could be transformed into a Fairest or some kith therein, an Ogre named Kanyan Titikacte arrived on the scene. Kanyan demanded Richard in payment of a debt owed by the Fairest to the Ogre. After ten years as the Ogre’s prisoner and becoming a Farwalker, Richard escaped back through the Hedge to discover that barely one year has passed. The Fetch had taken Richard’s place in college and worked a cushy job arranged by Rich’s family… but most importantly, it was protected by the family security service. Richard (now using the alias Jack CraBapple) has moved away from the family stomping grounds of Massachusetts to the San Francisco Bay Area. Using a hefty bit of unmarked cash provided by the Fetch, Jack has started making a new life for himself.

Step Two: Attributes (minimum 1 in each score)
Mental:
Intelligence: 2
Wits: 2
Resolve: 2
Social
Presence: 2
Manipulation: 3
Composure: 3
Physical
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 2
Stamina: 3

Step Three: Skills
Mental
Academics: 1
Crafts: 1
Medicine: 1
Occult: 1
Social
Empathy: 1
Intimidation: 1
Persuasion: 1
Socialize: 1
Streetwise: 1
Subterfuge: 2
Physical
Athletics: 2
Brawl: 2
Stealth: 3
Survival: 2
Weaponry: 2

Step Four: Specialties
Occult: Oddments Identification
Survival: Oddment Application
Persuasion: Haggling

Step Five: Supernatural Features
Seeming: Ogre
Kith: Farwalker
Court: None
Wyrd: 1
Contracts:
Dream: 1 (Pathfinder)
Stone: 1 (Might of the Terrible Brute)
Hearth: 1 (Fickle Fate)
Mirror: 1 (Riddle Kith)
Smoke: 1 (Wrong Foot) (physical traces manifest as lemur tracks)

Step Six: Merits (total: 7)
Enemy (Adversarial Allies): 3
Team of mortals tracking Jack at behest of the Bridgeston-Wethy consortium, their employers. While trying to return to the family estate, Jack made references to various family secrets to security operatives. Security services are trying to keep him from doing any real damage to the family’s reputation and holdings. Their orders are to monitor and record Jack’s doings, and interfere with any attempt to blackmail the family. Monthly budget: $3,000.00 because Jack knows a lot, but has not tried to make any expected use of the knowledge.
(Note: they qualify as a cell of Hunters)
Iron Stomach (2 merit points)
Allies: 1 (local common Changelings)
Contacts: 2 (local coffee shops, local natural medicine enthusiasts)
Resources: 1 dot ($500/month, $1,000.00 in assets)
Harvest (Goblin Fruit/Oddments, Reaper’s Pledge ): 2 dots
New Identity: 1
Token (Cracked Mirror): 1 dot

Step Seven: Advantages
Defense: 2
Health: Stamina (3) + Size (5) = 8
Size: 5
Initiative: Dexterity (2) + Composure (2) = 4
Willpower: Resolve (2) + Composure (3) = 5
Clarity: 7 (standard= 7)
Speed: Strength (2) + Dexterity (4) + species factor (5) = 11 yards per turn

Step Eight: Coming to Life
How old are you? “I was born in 1986, but I was kidnapped into Faerie in 2004 on my 18th birthday. I spent ten years in Faerie to find that only four years had passed back here.”

What was your existence in Faerie like? “’Wild’ is the first word that comes to mind. Kinyan Titicacte, my Keeper, apparently had a thing for what you might call unspoiled wilderness. Every major terrain and climate type kind of mashed together, like what the Earth might have been like if it were the size of… oh, call it the size of Boston, had never known people and the environment could change radically after you took seven steps in any direction. From what I can remember about my time there, he always had a stable of at least a dozen other Lost knocking around. I guess I took on the Farwalker seeming because Kinyan Titicacte was always chasing me. I don’t remember ever getting any kind of food from him, or anything else. It’s how I learned to survive in the wild; I had to, or Kinyan would catch me, and… I don’t want to remember any of that. All I know is that it hurts to think about thinking about it. Ow.”

What are your motivations? “Picking up the pieces. My Fetch… I’ve kind of taken to calling him ‘Rich’… well, he’s had four years to learn how to be me, while I had ten years to learn how to be… Well, how would any Changeling explain their Durance? My old life was gone for good. I’d be lying if I said that I was completely heartbroken about it. My family… well, we’re not exactly a pack of saints, and there are still a few things that turn my stomach about how we do business. So Rich played on that, gave me a suitcase with a rather sizeable quantity of small, unmarked bills, and I decided to see what I could do with a clean slate. I’ve had discussions about that with a few other Lost, and I’ve made my peace with it.”

Physical appearance: To mortal eyes, Jack CraBapple’s face is tanned and weathered. His blue eyes, however, retain a youthful spark, making his age hard to guess. His dark brown facial hair is thick and difficult to keep trimmed, though he tries to tame it at least once a week or so. He has made a pledge with a local cosmetology school in which his unruly head-hair is used as an extra-credit assignment for students asking for “a challenge”. His body hair is also thicker than usual, but rarely seen. While the vast majority of his clothing is chosen for sturdy construction and muted colors, he has not completely given up his childhood habits; he has one shirt of bright blue raw silk and may acquire more in time.

Supernatural appearance: Jack’s Fae mien is covered with hair on virtually every part of his body. His features are heavier and resemble a mountain gorilla’s, except for his eyes, which remain blue and quite human-like. His musculature is lean, rather than bulky. As a result, many inexperienced Changelings mistake him for a monkey-like Beast-kith, even when he is not using his Riddle Kith contract.

Name details: Richard chose the nom de guerre “Jack CraBapple” to reflect his newfound interest in Goblin Fruit and other oddments, while remaining somewhat believeable to mortal ears. He occasionally responds when someone else calls “Rich”, though he is practicing to reduce this.

Other notes:

• Jack has located two areas in the local Hedge that reliably produce a selection of Goblin Fruit and oddments.
• Jack reluctantly checks in with his Fetch about once per week or so, usually to see if the family has made any progress in neutralizing the threat value of what he knows, as well as to catch up on the gossip. The nature of Jack’s information centers on relatively harmless scandals about interpersonal relationships, with a few tidbits of questionable business practices thrown in for flavor. No one item should be worth Jack’s life.
• Jack has come to an accord with his Fetch, to the point of addressing it as “Rich”. Even before his Durance, he had been seriously thinking about getting out of the family business, and Rich had simply pointed out that this was the best opportunity to do so he would ever have.
• Jack was able to finagle the New Identity of “Jack CraBapple” as payment for some favor he earned. The Bridgeston-Wethy security forces have not firmly associated this name with Jack, though it is one of several aliases he used while traveling across the country.
• The Reaper’s Pledge involves Jack keeping the cosmetology school clean, as well as making sure that at least one vase of flowers in the entrance area is fresh.
• Jack’s future plans focus on learning how to build a Hallow, followed by figuring out how to cultivate Goblin Fruit and how to research oddments more effectively. Now that his family no longer supplies social pressure to keep him from pursuing ‘plebian’ interests such as handcrafts and agriculture, he has discovered his green thumb and knack for field research. Whether he has any aptitude for construction has yet to be determined.
• Virtue: Charity
• Vice: Gluttony

James Bond is... Corwin of Amber?

2009-03-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

A bit of explanation for those of you who aren't familiar with "Corwin" or "Amber": Roger Zelazny created "The Chronicles of Amber", a series of stories about a fairly traditional royal family in that there are a lot of them ("There had been fifteen brothers and six were dead. There had been eight sisters and two were dead, possibly four."), the patriarch is frequently absent, imperious and usually what we normal folk would call "borderline abusive". Given that the father ("King Oberon" a.k.a. Oberon Barimen) calls himself "King of the Universe", this should come as no particular surprise, except for one salient fact: it happens to be true.
Amber is the one real world; all the infinite alternate possibilities are but Shadows. Those heirs to the blood of Oberon are granted physical and mental powers beyond the limits of lesser beings, not the least of which is near-immortality, which allows them to walk the Pattern and thus gain the power to move through Shadow. Worlds of literally any description await those of the Blood, for any purpose.
Corwin, after an argument with his elder full brother Eric, was wounded in a duel, dragged through Shadow, and left for dead on Shadow Earth. Our Earth. During the Plague Years in London, where he was infected... and survived, but suffered amnesia for the next four hundred years.
As a somewhat inevitable consequence of a scion of Amber remaining in a particular Shadow for extended periods of time, Corwin may have spontaneously generated a Shadow of himself therein, perhaps more than once. Consider his Trump (compressed for brevity):

Note the short, dark hair and dour expression that nevertheless means business. Now consider this sketch of Mr. Bond:... and compare both to this image of Hoagy Carmichael, considered to be a visual inspiration for Mr. Bond:

A curious similarity, don't you think? Especially considering how Mr. Bond has a demonstrated tendency to not fight fairly and to survive the most appalling damages and just keep going...

Newbie tune

2009-02-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

The "Dish and the Fiddle" is a bar where the Lost hang out. Mortals who find the place are in one of two categories: either they're the enchanted companions of one of the patrons, or they were very definitely looking for some other place. It's a fairly common phenomenon for places owned, operated and frequented by the Lost. There's no way to know whether it's some kind of trade-secret Contract similar to the one that maintains Goblin Markets, or a not-quite-Noble bestowment, or just something that the Lost generate instead of dandruff.

A selling point is that there's an ever-changing cast of live music. No two acts are ever exactly alike, except for two things. The first is that they all tend to be some variation of folk music. The other is an unbroken tradition. The first time that any newcomer sets foot into the place, no matter who happens to be playing, the band immediately breaks out in the unofficial Newbie Anthem. You've heard it before. It's officially called "Mad About Me", though most non-Star Wars fans just call it the "Creature Cantina Theme".

I've heard some of the more literary-minded among the Lost describe it as the archetypal theme to "Crossing of the First Threshold" in the Hero's Journey. Most of the rest of us just say that it's like an announcement that "you're not in Kansas anymore, Toto". And damn if it isn't worth it for the looks some of the accidental tourists get on their faces. We all maintain our Masks, of course, and unless they come in with the means to see past such deception, the mortal visitors only see a strange cross-section of perfectly human demographics. It's still somewhat unsettling, though, because the "Dish and Fiddle" doesn't have a recognizeable 'vibe' that mortal barflies could 'tune in' on and use.

And that's the way we like it.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-01T17:36:00.001-08:00

Yup, I got tagged with this, and thought I'd share it with everyone...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. When I was younger, I wanted to be a "Scientist!" Not any particular discipline, mind you; just a "Scientist!". If "Buckaroo Banzai" had come out a few years earlier, I would have wanted to live "in many directions at once", too. Nowadays, I'd be happy with a regular income, though I'd appreciate it if I needed six figures to express that income...

2. My number one comfort food is any kind of deluxe packaged macaroni & cheese. However, a close second is Spaghetti Factory's Spaghetti a la Homer (browned butter and mizithra cheese).

3. I deliberately make obscure intellectual references for no reason other than I find greater humor in encouraging people to work for the joke. For example, I would like to raise a very particular toast to Kim Stanley Robinson: a Mountain Dew Code Red, followed by a regular Mountain Dew (green), in turn followed by a Mountain Dew Voltage (blue).

4. In the highly unlikely event that I acquire a fan-following, I mostly wish that my fans would show their respect for me simply by doing whatever they can to make the world a better place. Failing that, I would hope that the "fan-gift" of choice would be hand-painted *G-RATED* Trumps. Which is to say, these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chronicles_of_Amber#The_Trumps

5. My greatest fear was of doing the absolute best I could to raise a child (or, worse, more than one), to end with a beautiful genius possessed of enough ambition to take over the world, the drive to actually pull it off... and the morals of a rabid shark. In a word, I was terrified of producing Gulliver (or Gayle) Foyle:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stars_My_Destination
Now that I've had a vasectomy, this has passed... somewhat.

6. I think I've played to my intellectual strengths to the detriment of my social weaknesses for so many years that they have switched places, then balanced each other out somewhat. It might have been nice if this had happened earlier; say, in junior high. So it goes...

7. I am functionally unable to attend any sort of concerts except classical music or comedic monologues. I don't care if they're the blandest corporate rock act since whomever, or if they're the best blues player since Robert Johnson. Amplification above the minimum necessary for people in the nosebleed section to hear clearly... *hurts*.

8. I wish I could visit an alternate world where "Firefly" and "The Dresden Files" were renewed (deservedly) for several seasons, while "King of Queens" and "Seinfeld" died quick, quiet network deaths.

9. I would like to ride the "Weightless Wonder" a.k.a. the "Vomit Comet" to experience free-fall.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomit_Comet
Okay, I'd *really* like to afford an orbital flight on Virgin Galactic...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_Galactic
... but the "Vomit Comet" dream is at least within spitting distance of financially possible for me.

10. I wish that, upon meeting any or all celebrities for whom I have any respect, they remember me only as "that guy who was the most courteous and unobtrusive fan I've ever met. Wonder what his name was... Oh, well." I have taken to heart the implicit warning in the Chinese curse: "May you gain the attention of those in power" and fervently hope to remain someone distant and happy and small.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_curse

11. Aside from concerns about genetic disease or genetic predispositions toward medical problems, I am mostly unconcerned about my distant heritage. Probably because I have so *many*. I have English, Irish, Scots, Norwegian, German and French in my genetic background... that I know of... and going much further back seems likely to produce even more tangles.

13. I want to get past my personal foibles and get paid for writing a short story. Step one: finish writing one...

14. The first thing I notice about people is their 'regional dialect', which I refer to as the 'birth certificate they carry in their mouth'. Kind of like how Professor Higgins can narrow down where a person was born and raised to within a couple of blocks in "My Fair Lady", though I'm not nearly as good.

15. If I were ever forced to attend a big-time "Social Event" (like some award show or, worse, some bigwig ball), I would make every possible effort to procure a reasonable (read: comfortable and in my size) facsimile of the collarless "spaceman's business suit" worn by Bruce Boxleitner on Babylon 5. Bonus points if the color scheme could be 75% black, 20% emerald green and 5% white; Green Lantern uniform proportions (give or take).

16. I would very much like to contribute to the death of the necktie as a required component of businesswear for men. Like a ruff, it is a pointless way for the wearer to show off his aspiriations of status or wealth. Also like the ruff, it can be hazardous.

17. My music library tends to be as eclectic as I can stand. For example, I own several Sting CDs, the soundtrack AND score for "The Matrix", the Poxy Boggards "Anchor Management" CD, the soundtrack to "Titan A.E." and four CDs by a now-defunct band called "Brother" who dared to include a didjiridoo and a bagpipe... at the same time... in a rock band. And they did it really well, dammit!

18. My Evil Plan To Destroy Hollywood involves loaning each and every role-playing game publishing company in the United States $10 Million USD, with the proviso that they use the money to produce a two-hour pilot for a television series based on their best-selling game license within two years. While the probable level of production value would vary *widely*, it would be an extremely safe bet that the results would be far and away more interesting than 90% of anything Hollywood has produced for the past twenty years.

19. What I really want to be when I grow up is Writer-In-Residence on the International Moonbase. Yes, there are a few more intermediate steps between my present state and achieving this job than most such.

20. I heartily enjoy foods and beverages in colors, shapes, flavors and textures not found in nature. Can't handle anything even mildly spicy, though.

21. I want to live long enough for the James Randi Educational Foundation to cut a check to someone who can demonstrate genuine psychic/magic abilities on command.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Randi#The_.241_million_challenge
My imagination is taxed to the limit imagining myself as that person.

22. If I were a crayon I would be Cobalt Blue, because of what cobalt represents. Briefly, it symbolizes how a supposed 'flaw' can become something wonderful.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobalt

23. My favorite smells are "well-chlorinated pool" and "inside of a game store". No, really. Something about all those hard-bound books mixed with the miniatures, paints, plastic packaging and the dice... Oh, the *dice*... produces a curiously unmistakeable scent. NOT including the scent of unwashed gamers, mind you...

24. My cell phone wallpaper is a picture of Lee Ann's late, lamented Godzilla: a half-Springer/half-Dalmatian who looks like a black Labrador with long, wavy fur. He was a wonderful dog and I miss him so.

25. I hope I live long enough to get onto a BART train and travel in a loop around the Bay Area. If current conditions persist, I would have to live for at least another century or two...

Old life, new life

2009-01-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

I like the corner coffee shop, "Donna's Sunrise Smile", for a number of reasons. One is that it's a moderately successful independent place. Call it a lingering touch from my Durance, but since I fought my way free from my Keeper, I've gotten used to things being a lot less... predictable.

Also, the place is much larger than most people would believe. You wouldn't think that a five-story apartment building in a crowded city could do that, but Donna has somehow managed it.

The most important reason that I like the place is that, in exchange for a few interesting herbs (and instruction on proper use, storage, effects and warnings), Donna and the supervisors also pass along news from a few of my other Lost contacts... as well as anything strange they notice.

Like today.

"Wyatt," Donna said, using the mortal name I had adopted. "Jenny and Marcus both told me that someone had been by earlier this week with a picture that looked like you."

I frowned into my mug, sipping a new concoction with a trace of fennel in it. "Women?" I asked, suspecting I already knew the answers. "Subtly overdressed for the neighborhood? Lots of tasteful makeup?"

She raised an eyebrow. "How did you know?"

There was no simple way to explain, and she deserved to stay out of this mess as much as possible. "It's complicated." I managed a reassuring gesture around another sip of the liquid sunrise from my mug, then looked her in the eye. "I've not knocked anyone up nor committed any crime," I told her, speaking the truth. She picked up on it, and a bit of tension eased out of her expression.

"But I do know things that they would rather keep... under wraps." I knew better than to say, "... in the family." Donna would connect the dots to create a picture that was incorrect, but not completely inaccurate.

She blinked.

I pulled out a small bag made of rough blue paper, the top rolled shut. "Buglewort blossoms," I explained, setting it on the counter and nudging it toward her. "I've doublechecked to make sure that each one is exactly that."

She took the bag. "Isn't that supposed to be for cleaning wounds or as a sedative?"

"These are some more of my specials," I said, emphasizing the last word. "They work like guarana, in case you run low of that." I went on to give her the usual brief description of dosage, effects, durations and warnings. "I may have to skip town," I said, wrapping it up. "They shouldn't bother you too much after that."

I could practically feel her curiosity flaring at me as she copied down the information on the side of the bag with a felt-tip pen and stowed the bag in a cupboard labeled, "Donna's". I finished the brew, wishing that I could swallow all my worries and mistakes so easily.

"We'll miss you," she said. "Especially your 'specials'. Damned if I can figure out where you keep getting them."

"Fellah's got to keep a few surprises," I told her, managing a half-smile. "But I do have a few other friends in the hobby. Might be able to send you a few things now and then, for old time's sake."

She nodded, then gave me a pensive look. "Just take care of yourself, okay? You're a decent man, and those are as rare as..."

I tried, really, but I couldn't help myself. "Sasquatch sightings?" I offered.

She nodded, a surprised but approving grin spreading across her face. "Y'know, I think I like that better than hen's teeth," she said, seeming to taste the words for a moment. "At least there are grainy pictures and somewhat inexplicable footprints of those."

I laughed and got up, leaving some money for my coffee on the counter. While Donna turned to focus on a new customer, I rolled a pair of twenties inside a one-dollar bill and dropped the tube into the tip jar.

Now, all I had to do was figure out how to get my family's investigators off my trail.

-----

Suppose that you find yourself in the witness protection program. Suppose that you had to avoid all of your usual hobbies, associates, and whatnot. What would that entail?

Take a look at your life and think about all of it. What you do, where you go, who you talk to, and all of that. What is truly unique and therefore identifiable about your life? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up? It's a really interesting exercise, especially in the Internet Age when virtually any conceivable hobby (and a few that seem inconceivable) has a web-presence... and internet usage can be tapped from uncountable different points on the connection.

* World of Warcraft? No more. Gonna give up your level 50 character and start from scratch? I don't think so.
* Facebook? Nope. Too easy to become a fan of all your old favorite stuff, even if you use a new username and different userpic.
* Chat rooms? Nope. Again, it's not enough to use a different username, you've got to steer completely clear of every chatroom you've ever used.
* Local sports games? Sorry. Pick a new team. Better yet, pick a new sport.
* Favorite vice? Kick the habits, friend. All of them. If you've got a favorite mixed drink, you'd better never order it. If you've acquired a taste for a special blend of tobacco, you'd better get used to never smoking it again, either.

What else would you have to give up? What vices would you allow yourself to pursue if your usual ones were taken away, with a warning that the people *hunting* you will kill you if they find you?

(Notes describing the building the coffee shop is in for future reference)
The top floor is studios, the floor below that is one-bedrooms, the floor below that is two-bedrooms. The ground floor has the customer area, the kitchen and customer bathrooms. The whole first floor was once a single and rather spacious apartment, but now Donna only lives in half of it. The other half holds cramped but serviceable employee lockers and bathrooms. The basement holds what has to be at least a couple of weeks' worth of supplies at any given time filling most of the space. The business office is also down there, but the last room is where the magic happens: Donna has somehow picked up what amounts to a fully-functional coffee and tea research lab, and the skills to use it to full effect.

Excitement and what I'm missing

2009-01-03T17:09:00.000-08:00

While traveling through my hometown on a relatively mundane errand, I happened to notice a subtle indication that there was a portal to the Hedge in the vicinity. My errand could wait while I investigated further. To mortal eyes, it was merely a fenced-in vacant lot, with various pieces of junk scattered here and there. A pile of broken shipping pallets and what might have been furniture at one point pushed against a utility pole, the shadow hiding a gap in the cyclone fence. It took a few moments glancing at the wreckage to spot it: a battered but still whole trash can lid balanced on top of a large, bald truck tire. I fished out a piece of paper and a pen, pretending to copy down the name of the property management company offering the land parcel for sale or rent, in reality making notes about the portal. When had it appeared, I wondered, and where would it lead?

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I'm reading through Timothy Ferriss' "4-hour workweek" in an effort to figure out why my life feels like I've become an NPC waiting for some adventure to need a pushing-40 slacker as a human shield or victim or other tragic placeholder. Aside from the rather interesting notion that most of the boring parts of people's lives can be subcontracted, Mr. Ferriss offers the idea that the exciting activities and goals we dismiss as impossible or impractical or otherwise too expensive are usually nothing of the sort. The trick is to figure out the most practical steps necessary to achieve them. For example, suppose that my goal is to not only own a Phoenix 1000 luxury sub, but to make it pay for itself. As this vessel starts at $78 million USD, that would probably be a wise way to go.

The trick, then, would be to figure out who would benefit from access to such a vehicle and why. The Monterey Bay Aquarium might be one option, for exploratory and research purposes. Another might be any of the various private agencies that offer tours of San Francisco from the bay, for a tourist attraction like no other currently available. A third might include various businesses who need to monitor and occasionally inspect or repair underwater facilities, such as pipelines, cables or bridges. And other options may arise during the research phase. While it's easy to imagine all manner of illegal usage for such a vehicle, such as smuggling narcotics in or criminals out of the area, they are not a business avenue I would ever pursue.

Anyway, the next step would be to research the legalities of the situation and arranging a business charter, at least getting the relevant pieces of the puzzle onto paper. U.S. Subs offers such a thing, for a starting price of $25,000.00.

At this stage, I would have to actually do some research and consult with experts. Where else to go? Should I involve the investors-to-be prior to buying the business plan, or after?

The point that Mr. Ferriss makes is that it is not, in theory, completely unreasonable for me to own my own luxury submarine. It is simply a matter of composing a plan and adjusting it as I go along. Which, in turn, suggests that very little, if anything is completely out of reach for purely economic reasons; they remain on the far side of a properly-researched and -initiated plan.

Now that I wish to become a published author by the end of 2009 (if not sooner), I suppose that I will have to focus on a plan to achieve this. The first step, of course, will be regular writing, to simply get in the habit of doing so. I've kept journals, of course, as well as two other blogs, but that will only sustain me for a short period. Similar, in its way, to using a kick-board while learning to swim; the tool is useful during the early stages, but must be abandoned when it is no longer needed. Daily writing, no matter what, for at least the next month is my goal at this point.

Wrapped around looking for "regular" employment, of course...

Possibilities and choices

2008-11-15T10:45:00.000-08:00

Today's bit of fortune-telling is courtesy of "The Silicon Valley Tarot", an online reading of which is available at the Steve Jackson Games website. The thus-far-unnamed Hedge-hunter may well find himself on a character sheet sometime soon...

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Instead of an oddment, today I have found a Hollow, a portion of the Hedge that someone... or several someones... claims as their own. Ranging in size from a small campsite to a sprawling estate, these areas are rarely unoccupied, and certainly wasn't in this case. The motley of Changelings had set up a camp drawing on the images of a traveling circus of mdoest size. After talking my way past their embarrassed lookouts (easing their discomfort with a few extra goblin fruit I keep for such occasions), their leader insisted that I accept the wisdom of their "seer". Imagine my surprise when, after ducking into a six-sided pavilion tent, I found myself facing a pasty-faced Wizened in a lab coat, manipulating what could only be an actual Babbage Engine.

The somewhat androgynous person turned from the machine to face me, adjusting the lenses on his (her?) goggles. "Come to consult the machine?" she (he?) inquired. The voice gave no clue as to gender; I set the issue aside as irrelevant.

"Your colleagues in the rest of the motley insisted that I speak with you," I said.

The "seer" nodded and gestured at a worn Aeron chair. As I settled myself, the seer opened a large, portable bookcase and extracted a bundle of worn, blue-tinted punch-cards tied with what looked like magnetic tape. The seer untied the cards and presented them to me in the usual manner for Tarot cards. "Meditate on your question. Shuffle the cards, choose three, and hand those to me," were my instructions.

Having made my indecipherable choices, the seer ran them through the Engine and informed me of the results.

"First is the Firewall. Protection, fortification, civility, courtesy, protocol. You're well fortified against the barbarian hordes." It took me a moment's thought to realize that this seer drew upon the symbols of mortal technology. It made a certain amount of sense, given the technological bent to most of the decorations, and definitely piqued my interest for the rest of the reading.

"Next is the Flame War. Two pedants, locked in mortal combat, scorch each other with fiery words. Angry, aggrieved, they wield their righteous furies in rhetorical joust. Insult, invective, profanity - they will stop at nothing until one or the other is humiliated or banished. Quibbling, hair-splitting, dogmatism, nitpicking." I considered whether any of my colleagues or contacts back at my primary Freehold would meet this description and made a few mental notes.

"Last is Encryption, inverted. Beware of subterfuge, ignorance. Things are going on behind your back. Can you afford not to know?" I sighed. My forays into the Hedge and research into oddments were, by and large, meant to keep me out of the idiotic games that the Courts played endlessly. While this particular symbol was hardly unusual for anyone who was involved at all in any Freehold, the fact that it was brought to my attention did not cheer me.

The seer approached a chalkboard and began to scrawl with a singularly noisy piece of yellow chalk. "Jet-set betrayals," the seer said, after a moment's calculations. "Is that a Chateau Margaux you're pouring there, or is it your life's blood? The plusher it gets, the deeper the grave. You may be saved, but you'll have to wash dishes."

I carefully recorded the seer's words in a notebook, then gave my thanks. The rest of the motley thanked me for my visit, offering a few words of advice about the most recent goings-on in the Hedge and the location of a nearby portal back to the mortal world. Perhaps it was time to return to the Freehold for an extended period?

Ranting about polls, not politics

2008-11-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry, no oddments this time. I get the feeling that the Hedge itself has paused to sup on all the strangeness that the mortal world is generating during this 24-hour period.

Okay, let’s look past the politics for just a moment and look at these polls. I’m more likely to get a straight answer about Google’s page-rank algorithm, but I want to know who decides how to call each state as on this “board”. Take a look at these cropped screenshots from MSNBC.com, taken as quickly together as my fingers could manage.

Frankly, this North Carolina shot strikes me as the most honest of the three. It shows that McCain and Obama are neck-in-neck, with 84% of the precinct results reported. 16% of the precincts remain, and it’s certainly possible that the lads will be scrapping for every one of those precincts.

Here’s one I just don’t understand. It gives Arkansas to McCain, with 55% of the results, as opposed to Obama with 43% of the results. All right so far, but the fact that 29% of the precincts have reported the results doesn’t seem to matter. Pause for a moment and review the previous example, then look at this Arkansas score again, and then explain how these two judgements can be posted on the same page from anyone, let alone on MSNBC.com.

To be fair, here’s one giving New Mexico to Obama with 56% and McCain with 43%... but only 12% of the precincts have reported! I may not have had stellar success when I was trying to learn statistics, but when 88% of a state’s precincts have not reported their results, exactly how can it be “called” for either side?

And, of course, the one that tops them all. As you can see, California is being handed to Obama with no results at all officially reported! What is going on here?

The math is clearly not on the side of the people running this board.
Unfortunately, publicity and page counts are. I mark this as just one more example of how poorly educated most U.S. citizens seem to be…

Full disclosure: I live somewhere in California. I very much wished to avoid declaring an allegiance to a political party before the election, because I feel that part of the election procedure violates the concept of a "secret ballot". I did vote for Obama, and I'm pleased as punch to have an end to the Republican nightmare in Washington. I'm also pleased to be alive on the day when the United States sheds its last vestigial racism where it really counts: putting an African-American into the White House.

Now, let's see how well Obama follows through on his promises...

Credit where it's due

2008-01-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

The "photo" attached to my blog is just one of several examples of the intersection between how I wish I looked, a costume I might someday be able to assemble, and a bit of how I actually look. My beard's a bit fuller and my hair only recently got trimmed to approximately this short length in the back; it's normally a bit more visible around the base of my skull. Overall, though, you could print out a picture of this character's head and my friends and relatives might see the resemblance. Or not.
The image is a sample of a 3D character called "Dark Guardian", available for purchase through Daz3D. Search for the specific phrase, or the general theme of Steampunk if you'd like a few other interesting things to play with. The Dark Guardian is a variation of the "C.I.S. Operative for M3" figure, created and likely copyrighted by Lourdes Mercado
http://www.daz3d.com/i.x/shop/artistlist/-/?artist=5635
The intellectual property rights in this instance are a little fuzzy, as far as I can tell, but I figure that as long as I'm not generating any money off the usage, nor am I costing the copyright holders any money, I should be safe.

Bringing my interests in 3D art into play, I wish very much that I had the time, equipment and skills to work on CGI. Daz3D has done a bang-up job in creating a graphics program and business model that brings the software and subsequent tools to the masses in a reasonably priced package, along with open forums for users to swap tips and finished products. G'wan over and look over the galleries, then look through the 3D Software section. Hint: Daz 3D is Free, no charge, nothing. Bryce, Carrara, Hexagon and Mimic will set you back a bit, but the whole shebang will give you the kind of CGI tools and toys that most Hollywood effects houses could use very well.

Hollywood's greatest fear: truth?

2008-01-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

My fiancee and I just got finished watching "The TV Set", written by Jake Kasdan. She put it in our Netflix queue because it looked funny, and because I'm toying with becoming a scriptwriter. We both thought that it was an interesting meditation on how a writer's idea for a t.v. series gets pecked to death by ducks, which in this case means that the network executives extract, piece by piece, as much originality and genuine humanity from a television series as they can. Perhaps the defining lines in the movie are uttered by Sigourney Weaver's character: "You can't be too original. Too original scares me." My memory's fading in my old age, so those may not be the exact quotes spoken or subtitled in the film, but the essence of the sentiment is clear: network executives only allow small doses of originality into their schedules.

In one sense, it's understandable, even traditional. Quite a lot of Hollywood's earliest films were based on classic theatrical plays (I don't know how many times Romeo & Juliet has been remade, but it's probably in the hundreds at the minimum... and that's only counting the versions in English...) for the very reason that everyone knew the stories. And even when television first came out, quite a lot of the early stuff was simple and unchallenging fare like comedy variety show acts or big-band shows. (I can't find quick answers to the question online right now; write in with your links and references!)

In another sense, however, it's a sad commentary on the entertainment industry and the audience. I'll not insult any special forces operatives or anyone on "the 100 richest people in the whole wide world" list, but I will say that I don't like to watch television shows about people whose lives are like mine. Worrying about whether to pay the rent or the utilities or the medical bills this month? Been there, done that. Forced to stick to a lousy job working as a subordinate to someone who couldn't find their... uh, coccyx with a map and a compass? Got the t-shirt. Utterly uninterested in attending a high school reunion? Yup. And yet, the vast majority of network television shows right now are built around those very questions.

"Hmmm, is that so?" I felt my cheeks tighten as I matched her gaze. "Let's consider that for a minute. You're afraid of originality outside of a fairly narrow yet poorly-defined comfort zone. Not enough originality and the network's ratings suffer. You're pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? Your entire thought process focuses on advertising and moving product. You are not concerned with telling a story. You are only concerned with making sure that the viewers Don't Touch That Dial! Even though history clearly shows that original product holds the lion's share of box office profits throughout the lifespan of the movie industry. I'll tell you what: you let me worry about getting the story told and I'll let you worry about marketing it, okay?"

Memories, moods, habits, and a multi-billion-dollar industry

2008-01-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

This oddment seems more similar to lichen than more familiar vegetation. It is usually found on the parts of parent vegetation closest to the ground and therefore easily ignored. The basic structure resembles vegetation like strawberries or mundane spider-plants: small pockets of slightly more dense material connected to the next by miniscule stalk-like runners. No two examples of this particular oddment are precisely alike in terms of coloration, scent, or other details, but certain types can be grouped by general 'theme'. Unlike invasive lichen encountered in the mortal realm, this oddment family does not actively infest nearby vegetation; rather, their presence (especially different types combining in the same oddment) can radically alter the emotional connotation of any adjacent oddment, and removing them can be a daunting task for even the most experienced oddment-cultivator.

In the most recent issue of Wired [citation to follow when I get around to it], I found an article discussing the corporate interpretation of the phrase "better living through chemistry". In essence, the article focuses on one person's backlash against the "Prozac Nation" mindset, which proclaims any and all non-"up" moods to be anathema to the American Way... and therefore represent a potential market for goods and services. You may glance at your bulk-mail folder and assume that various pharmaceuticals intended for more intimate situations are the end-all and be-all of the companies responsible for such things, but apparently anti-depressants have been at the top of the industry's best-seller lists for the past five years or so. The subject of the article goes on to assert that certain "down" moods are just part of the human condition, and must be treated through the older methods of communication with one's fellows and honest introspection with oneself.

Figure that we still need expert opinions to determine when we're outside of this range, as well as establishing where this general range is for each of us. Figure that the pharmaceutical industry will not be able to provide us with chemical help for all of life's bumps and bruises and little disappointments... as well they should not. Figuring out that stuff on our own, or failing to do so when or as quickly as we may individually desire, is still something that can't be taken away from us. I may well wind up wishing to become an account in a blood bank (free lobotomy as part of the deal), but if I'm going to end up in such a state, I want to go into it all at once and of my own volition, rather than one capacity for emotion at a time.

Even if, for example, my capacity for regret is chemically damped, the rest of my life (of which my body is only a manifestation) will not stop providing the sources for regret, and it will simply show up elsewhere. A crude proof of this is available through basic research into various documented psychological illnesses with physical manifestations; when the body and/or mind are injured but the patient refuses to seek treatment, the symptoms worsen until the patient can no longer ignore them. Consider an individual whose capacity for anger has been chemically damped; the patient is no longer subject to raging physical abuse of his or her loved ones, but neither can they be motivated to change their circumstances by receiving abuse in turn. The anger response is simply not available, to the patient's detriment.

As any artist worthy of the name will tell you, emotions are not lights. While one can be visibly angry or visibly sad, the emotions are not only highly variable in strength, but change with little apparent provocation (at least in the eyes of those who are unfamiliar with the emotions and the person experiencing them). It will be a long time, if ever, before a mere pill can truly save us from ourselves on that level.

disposable consumerism

2008-01-18T17:43:00.001-08:00

This oddment comes from a creeping vine that looks almost exactly like thousands of other examples. Different types of vine are usually found in close proximity to others, each with a highly variable pattern of coloration and shape. This variation often deceives the novice oddment collector into thinking that one particular type is significantly different from the others in terms of flavor, effect and so on, but with very little experimentation will unveil the uniformly poor quality of these fruit.
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I'm old enough to remember when compact disks first hit the market, and when the players started at $100.00 a pop. I'm even old enough to remember when Betamax and VHS were neck-in-neck for the preferred format; the current kerfuffle about "BlueRay vs. HD" is just more of the same. Today's oddment stems from the fact that VCRs are now available for the low, low price of $20.00, and universal remotes for them are available for the equally low, low price of one dollar. This means that folk who are surviving on minimum wage today can fill their studio apartments with cheap versions of obsolete technology... which will break down on a regular basis, requiring such consumers to replace their crap on a regular basis. The products in question are deliberately designed so that repairing them is more trouble and expense than it is worth, which forces consumers to buy the next version of the same stuff, which is still basically disposable.

The only drawback is that, unlike the oddments of my imagination, cheap shoddy crap available at bargain discount stores does NOT recycle as easily as it should. And let's face it, when we live in an age when the American burakumin (look it up) pick through curbside recycling for whatever they can carry (in order to sell it for that day's meal and whatever's left over not quite covering their rent and utilities), it becomes obvious that there has to be a better solution...

Faith, Science and Cryptozoology

2008-01-17T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm consistently fascinated by extremists on both sides of the "faith vs. science" debate. One side says that there is a deity or deities ultimately in charge of everything, from the movement of galaxies to whether or not my dog gets cancer. The other says that there is a cause for every effect and that once we know (and control) every cause then there will be no effects we do not consciously bring into reality.
The fun thing about this debate is that, stripping aside the methods (prayer or scientific research) or the justifications (in the name of the deity of your choice or "Science!" itself), the debate is really about who gets to tell whom what is right. The religious folk want to be (back) on top of the heap, like when people could be horribly executed for not publicly professing allegiance to the proper faith. The scientific folk want to be the ones who say what is and is not correct, like how the 'elite' decide who may and may not participate in discussions about extraterrestrial life. All it seems to do is just reiterate that humans still like rigid hierarchies of "I am above you, but he is above me" as we have since the dawn of time. Negotiation and compromise remain difficult practices because "dammit, I want what I want, and I don't want you to have what you want, and if I can't get what I want, then I'll make damned sure that you don't get what you want, no matter who else may suffer."
Bringing it down a few notches from the eternial mysteries to issues somewhat closer to home, how about cryptozoology? Skeptics say that there is no evidence that Bigfoot or the chupacabra exist. Believers say that the evidence is incomplete. Me, I just point to scientific documentation proving that new species are being discovered every day, and that the coelecanth still swims. For those of you in my audience who don't wish to look up 'coelecanth' in Wikipedia, all you need to know for the purpose of this discussion is that scientific opinion held that these fish had been extinct for millions of years... until they were discovered in South America. Apparently, they taste awful; a challenge for you culinary explorers out there. But my point is that if a fish can survive for millions of years (and we KNOW that sharks and cocroaches have changed not a whit for at least that long), who's to say that something else has not?

Futures: changeable or locked?

2008-01-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

Today's oddment comes fresh from an odd sort of bush that sprouts rich, blue foliage that faded... and shrank... slowly before my eyes. The fruit was a double-bulb of dry, leathery rind, and the fruit (which filled both lobes and had a thin spread in the tissue connecting them) tasted differently: there are no words to precisely describe the taste of the upper bulb, as it might have tasted of sparkling sweet or heavy bitter, while the fruit of the lower bulb had a consistency of flavor highly unusual for such things. I sucked on a few small, granular seeds for a moment, but they melted in my mouth with only the flickering memory of their texture and... something else. A fruit of time, the past and the future. Perhaps if properly prepared, it might grant a vision of times to come, or clarify the perception of times gone. I'll soon see...

Idle thoughts wander through the mind of a fellow in search of a job. Thoughts like: "If only I had a guaranteed-accurate ironclad date of exactly where and when my next job would be, along with the salary and the nature of the job."
Followed with questions like, "What if I knew for certain that I'd get a job that I knew would suck?" or "What is the range of accuracy for a prediction?"
Ran Ackels (author of Immortal: RPG, currently published by Jikkarro Enterprises) once opined that prophecy had a range, with murky but changeable on one end, and diamond-clear and utterly unchangeable at the other. So, when folk go to a medium or other such folk who claim to see the future, should the accuracy of the forecast be selectable? A certain Mr. Deegan (www.dominic-deegan.com) allows his clients one question, which most of them waste by phrasing them to allow Deegan to accurately answer "Yes" or "No." And if there's a sliding scale, how should the consumer and the merchant establish the nature of that sliding? Hard-driving executive might be willing to pay top dollar for the clearest possible view of his future (which includes such delights as embezzlement, bankruptcy, a media-circus trial and a long, glamor-free stint in jail), but would he be willing to pay more for signs and hints about how his future might take another tack?

Might be an idea for a couple of stories in there...

Writers: An underclass?

2008-01-13T18:21:00.000-08:00

I've been hearing an awful lot about the effects of the current Hollywood writers' strike, but next to nothing about the status of the strike. I'm not a Hollywood insider by a long shot, but I like to think of myself as a writer, so I guess that my opinions are a little biased (guess which side I support?) Having said that, I have to say that

Hollywood experimented with movies that had no plot or scripted dialogue back in the 1930s. The results were something like a cross between a demo reel for technical folk (costumers, lighting, stage construction, etc) and a multi-million dollar party to which the viewers were invited to observe but not truly join. Audiences, as the saying goes, stayed away in droves. To Hollywood's credit, they aren't trying to replicate the experiment.
Writers have been around a lot longer than Hollywood or television, and did just fine. Hollywood would do very well to remember that.
Writers, regardless of their preferred medium (short story, t.v. series scripts... blogs... etc.) expect some kind of compensation for their work, and fair value for it. Nothing different than any other trade.
The One-and-Twenty has opened many new venues for entertainment; e.g.: Internet and the proliferation of high-bandwidth connections, "live role-playing games" utilizing GPS functions in cell phones, and so on. There may be all kinds of ways to get a message or story to the audience, but the message itself still requires someone to write it.

In the end, the writers are still the ones who are responsible for at least starting pretty much everything Hollywood has produced. And if they feel the need for a share of the profits from Internet downloads, they deserve to have it.

Hollywood and network television executives take note: You will run out of reruns eventually. You will NOT break the power of the Writer's Guild(s?) Give up a smaller piece of the pie now, and you can go back to business as usual. The math just works out better for everyone involved: you'll get a smaller piece of each particular project... but more writers will be willing to let you work with their projects, which translates to more projects for you to work with.

I mean, come on, do you REALLY want American writers getting it into their heads that Canada's (or the U.K.'s, or anywhere else's) movie-industry offers a better deal for them than you do? Yes, you might miss out on the next Beavis & Butt-Head Do America, but you might also miss out on the next Titanic...